A Reason and A Prayer Request

It’s a day just like any other day. She glances at the kitchen floor and reaches for the broom. A chore mastered from many years of sweeping practice. She knowingly places her right foot on the dustpan to move in the dirt, but the sweeping stops. Her foot is numb. Completely numb. The broom drops and she makes her way to the bedroom, to the bed where thoughts begin to stir. Fear edges in. What is wrong? But her mind shifts as her foot finds feeling again.

Several days pass. She is at work… doing her job, but the doing stops. This time both feet numb. They don’t move at all. That fear shaken off days earlier instantly returns in fast bursts of breath. Red hot skin travels quick over chest, ears and face.

What is wrong? She calls for help.

The feeling returns, feet moving, but fear staying. She is taken to the emergency room. Tests are run. Results come. And fear stretches further yet as words spill. A tumor. On her brain. Cancer. Running through her body.

She is discharged. Anxiety medication for the truth… the “I have cancer” truth that might not let her rest. Pain medication for the pain… but what pain? The pain she’s not feeling yet, but will come? Maybe just the pain of truth.

Family comes. They swarm. They pray. And worry. A week goes by and they wonder… maybe it’s not so.

Another trip to the ER… a different ER. One by one the facts confirm. They admit her. IV is in. More tests. A mass in her colon stops the scope from seeing. Results trickle in saying more. More that ushers in more. More fear. More worry. More.

Uncertainty settles on her. Smothers her. Thoughts emerge of the weekend before the sweeping stopped of a trip to Napa, playing and laughing with loved ones. She is sixty-four. Independent. Young swirls about on her inside.

But the truth. It cannot hide. Cancer. In her chest. Her liver. Her lymph nodes. Everywhere. Her chart reads… incurable.

Yet she remains hopeful. Cheerful. Miracle seeking. Faithfull. Resting on a different Truth. Those things fight the welling up of fear. She will do the now. Tackle the next thing. Surgery to remove the mass just last night. She rests. Chemo tomorrow. More cutting in three weeks at the brain.

And I think. We can’t seem to do it. To live fully right where we’re at. Can’t keep it up anyway. We get lost, twisted up in the rush and the worry of tomorrow. When the now is here. But a reason presents itself and I want to try harder than ever before. Because one day the sweeping, the doing, this very life… will stop for me too.


Please join me in prayer for Stephanie. I’m indulging deeply in that selfish prayer for healing… for my friends that call her mom… for her grandchildren that call her Nana… and for me along with many others who are blessed to call her friend.

Counting on with Ann

128. when darling daughter makes brownies

129 a piano 🙂

130. a good week of math

131. connecting on facebook with bloggy friends

132. anticipating the dot mom conference with Kelli

133. homeschool co-op

134. cooking for friends

135. fun at the aces game

136. cooler mornings and evenings

137. the challenge to stay within our budget

138. dreams

139. knowing You are always with me

140. husbands eggs benedict for breakfast

141. playing monopoly with the kids

142. having husband home for a long stretch

143. prayer… that we can… that you hear… and that you answer



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16 Responses

09.12.11

Praying along with you for Stephanie. May God touch her body and give her healing.
Jenifer recently posted..Monday Morning and a GiveawayMy Profile

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09.12.11

My thoughts and prayers are with your friend, Stephanie. “To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask an imagine…” Thank you, Heidi, for this reminder as well…”To live fully right where we’re at.”
Eileen recently posted..Share A Song MondayMy Profile

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09.12.11

You can count me in on that prayer…Our God is a healer for it’s by His stripes we are healed..and I surely do believe in the healing power of Jesus Christ.
Desiray recently posted..The Door of HospitalityMy Profile

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Oh, my heart is breaking at this news! I’ll definitely add her and her family to my prayer list at church. Amazing things happen when we release ourselves from the need to heal and give it directly to God. Just last year, he healed and cured my own step-mother of cancer; tumors in the brain and in the lungs, PTL! He can do ALL things!
Praying with you, my friend 🙂
Debbie Dillon recently posted..The Courage to Fly – Part 3 “Research”My Profile

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09.12.11

How do you overcome a diagnosis like this? With a God who has overcome the world. Praying for Stephanie!

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09.12.11

Praying along with you for Stephanie and her family…May God touch her body and may everyone in the family feel His divine presence every step of the way.
Alida recently posted..1000 GiftsMy Profile

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Praying with you for your sweet friend. May God restore, sustain and guide her through this journey called cancer.
Shannon Milholland recently posted..The Divine MasseuseMy Profile

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09.12.11

Beautiful post! I love your description of her and what she is going through. I am praying for her. I am praying for the impossible, that God will say “yes” to healing and “not yet” to death. It is a great reminder to live “fully” right where you are whether it’s a good place or a challenging one… Love ya
kelli recently posted..A Reason and A Prayer RequestMy Profile

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09.12.11

You had me on the edge of my seat Heidi! I’ll be praying…and thanking God for being able to sweep the floor:)

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09.12.11

I am so sorry and am lifting up Stephanie as I write. I pray for her peace and also for you as you minister to her. I firmly believe that God never gives us more than we can handle so we can rest assured that He is providing her every need.

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09.12.11

Stephanie and her family will be in my prayers, that he be with them, walk alongside and uplift them.

Blessings to you.
Kandi recently posted..a common threadMy Profile

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I’m praying right along with you Heidi… May her besieged body experience that divine healing only our Heavenly Father can provide, and may her troubled spirit rest in His comforting presence as well.

Have a Blessed Day Heidi!
Phil D. Malmstrom recently posted..Meditations Monday: Love and CommitmentMy Profile

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09.12.11

Thanks Heidi for you beautiful words describing what my mother n law is going through. You are a beautiful person and friend to me. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. God is so good!!!

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09.12.11

Heidi, my heart breaks for this family, but I will remain hopeful and very prayerful concerning this situation. It’s constant stories like this that manage to keep my life in perspective!
Lindsay recently posted..Tangled {Link UP}My Profile

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09.12.11

Beautifully written, as always. Praying for your dear friend. We never know when our days of sweeping will be over, but He does, and we can rest in that.

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