Here, Lord, it’s Yours!

thywill

A daily devotional reaches straight through to my heart and causes me to seriously reflect on my desire for two specific things that I deeply wanted to see happen last year.

Things I took to prayer over and over again.

Not material things.

Sovereign decisions that I wanted badly to go my way.

I emotionally invest myself in the gift of these things before they are actually mine.

Relish the idea of them.

I mentally move myself  into the place where these things will bring great resolve to some of  the heavy complications in my life.

Oh and, just as a child does, I engage deep in the notion that surely God will want these for me.

So, when the first thing doesn’t go through. And again when the other fails too. I sustain great wounds.

Satan whispers the word: rejection… right into the center of my heart. And I feel it burn there.

Rejection from God.

Yes, there it is. I said that. —At the time I surely thought it, so saying it now makes no difference.

I am real flesh.

And she feels fully in her heart.  Stomps her feet hard at times.

And on occasion when particularly bruised already, stares up at her heavenly daddy and says… “why not… why not that, for me?”

I know, I’ve told you already, through kneeling, tears and anguish, He offers peace. True.

So. Very. True.

But, what of these things that we want and don’t get? These seemingly good-for-us things?

Well, I eventually let them go… accepting that He knows best. That He has something else in mind beyond me.

He is good. And gracious. And for me, not against. 

The devotional I read is by Elisabeth Elliot. She starts out by saying that there was some-thing she also wanted very badly.  She prayed for it and thought it would add to her life in a very good way, but the Lord did not see fit give it to her.

She, like me, wondered “why” and her thoughts with the Lord went like this…

“Do you honestly want to know Me?” He asks. I answer yes. “Then do what I say,” He replies. “Do it when you understand it; do it when you don’t understand it. Take what I give you; be willing not to have what I do not give you. The very relinquishment of this thing that you so urgently desire is a true demonstration of the sincerity of your lifelong prayer: Thy will be done.” 

She goes on to say…

“So instead of hammering on heaven’s door for something which it is now quite clear God does not want me to have, I make my desire an offering. The longed-for thing is material for sacrifice. Here, Lord, it’s Yours.”

And for me, the thought of making my earthly plans and wants and desires a sacrifice… affirming my love for Him and my trust in Him.

Yes, I want that. 

Here, Lord, it’s Yours!

 Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21

Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

 *Linking up with Tracy from My Daily Walk in His Grace for Winsome Wednesday. 

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One Response

02.06.13

WOW I love the Elizabeth Elliot quote. It is hard to be in a place of misunderstanding and choose to wait, to pray, to exercise faith. It always hard to say, “Not my will Lord, but yours.” Absolute submission isn’t something easy, but necessary. This reminds me of the words of John the Baptist, “More of YOU Lord and less of me!”

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