God Is On The Throne

The chill in the air reminds me of my weakness. The darkness reminds me how much I crave His light. The damp air fills my lungs and I breathe Him in. Gut heaving sobs howl from within over these children, neglected, abandoned, alone. The weight of what has transpired hasn’t hit them yet.  But it’s hit me. Hard. And I am scared.

I am just like Joshua. Joshua was scared too.  God had to remind him several times to be strong and courageous. God reminds me that like Joshua, I am designed to be put in situations where I am scared. Suddenly, the Shepherd speaks to my lamb-like heart, “You can be comfortable without me. But when you set your eyes on my Gospel and follow my commands, you will need me.”

That’s where I want to be.

In places that can’t be explained without the presence of the Holy Spirit. So I soak up courage that comes from following the will of God like a sponge. And courage he gave, in just the right amount, at just the right time.

My husband returns tomorrow so I call my friend. I need her help to care for the “least of these.” My sweet friend meets us at home. I unload my children, their children, her children and we ask for miracles. There is a total count of two mamas and nine of God’s children bunking in my house.

Bath water runs,

Washing machine runs,

And so do we.

We begin cleaning, bathing, brushing…whatever needs to be done. We sing to Jesus as we go and it calms. “Jesus loves me this I know,” rises through my ceiling into the heavenly realms. We don’t sing as good as the angels but I am sure they are singing in beautiful harmony with us.

So many hearts to tend.

Unsuspecting hearts that don’t realize they’re broken.

There are four children who need to know they aren’t alone in their hurt. Little ones to Him belong that need someone to listen. They need God to pour his strength into their meek.

I mentally erase my to-do-list and will myself to be available, to be present. Around midnight and four loads of laundry later I begin to wonder. Who is God on the night unspeakable truth comes to light? Who is God on a day when love isn’t enough?

I know who God is and I know where God is and it brings me comfort. The book of Revelation tells me that God is seated on the throne. All the angels and all elders and all the saints are gathered at His feet. And they can’t stop worshiping Him. Forever.

And so this week of life is crippling and hard and crazy. Because I love so many, and I want them to know Him, and I want Him to heal them. I wake up wondering when the hurt will end. Maybe not today, but someday I know it will. And in the meantime I just beg God to mold me into the kind of woman that will never stop worshiping the Lamb who is worthy. That amidst the rock and hard places I will cling to the hope that He’s already won and my only response would be adoration and praise.

I am kneeling at his feet, wetting them with my tears, pouring the perfume of my adoration over them. Because when my love isn’t enough His was, His is, and praise Jesus there’s still more to come!

*For my sweet, wonderful, godly friend Jennifer:)

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4 Responses


And, He will always be on the throne!!! He has a plan that is so above our comprehension. God sent His own Son to die a cruel death, so that we may have Life(everlasting life). You are right where you need to be and doing exactly what you need to do. No more-no less. Keep praying, asking and seeking Him, for yourself and His Light will shine through you, onto the souls and into the hearts of everyone around you. Blessings!
Cynthia recently posted..Ready, Set, STOP!My Profile

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To see your heart break the way his heart breaks, to see how you face upward through the trial, to see this:

“That’s where I want to be. In places that can’t be explained without the presence of the Holy Spirit.”

Oh, your passion flows through every keystroke, dear. Huge hugs to you. Stopped by from What Joy Is Mine, and I am so glad I did. As you remain in those “places,” I pray the you feel the loving arms of your Holy Heavenly Father embrace you with each step, sentence, and tear. Beautiful post, dear! Just beautiful! There is more to come. So. Much. More. Praise God!
Falen recently posted..Respect Dare Pt. 1My Profile

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God Bless you Kelli for helping our community in such a tremendous way! Reno truly is in a battle with forces of darkness. You are the arms, hands, and feet of Christ on the ground here. Thankful to know ya and you influence me!

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Oh, Kelli, my heart goes out to you all. Yes, He’s is still on the throne! Love this:

“That’s where I want to be.

In places that can’t be explained without the presence of the Holy Spirit” That’ where I want to be too.
Eileen recently posted..Into the Beautiful~ Through the ValleyMy Profile

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