I’m Thinking…

 

It’s Monday morning –midnight-ish.

I can’t seem to rest… I’m rest-less… thinking.

I’m thinking… a little of how sleep will haunt me in the early hours when they rise… six feet pounding hardwood floors… following their tummies to my bedside. Pushing me up and on with our day. Relentless. Into the instruction… teaching them all things… and chasing fast after charcoal marks with my red.

I’m thinking a lot more of the day before. Sunday. The sermon where tears press their way over seeking eyes. Eyes needing more of Jesus on Sunday… everyday… but on this Sunday intense expectation searches harder after Him… for His voice.

I see the communion plates… neatly stacked silver… shining, waiting to pass on to fingers and needy lips that crave a taste… to remember.

This is the first Lord’s Supper in the new church, but the same still.

I pinch the bread delicately, but tightly holding on for dear life… to the life He gave up for me.

Breathing in. Remembering.  

In those pre-partaking moments of quiet I pray for… not the same… but more. A deeper, fuller impression of what it means… His body broken for me.

“…this is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 1 Corinthians 23:24

And I eat. I remember. I feel His overwhelming broken bodied love for me.

Then the cup is passed. The blood. His blood. Spilled out because of sin… because of and for me.

Breathing in. Remembering.

Eyes close tight… searching for… not the same… but more. A stolen touch of nail-torn hands… a true sense of  real blood, pouring warm, out and over, staining skin in deep crimson… for me.

“…this cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.”  1 Corinthians 23:25

And I drink. I remember. I grasp at the blood spilled out love for me.

I’m thinking… how He forcibly reaches right in and through…  to the heart of me… and pulls me in deeper.

In for more.  More of Him.

And I can’t help thinking… about how He does this…. how He increases my already wild need for Him. And then by it increases my Faith in Him.

And how He suddenly turns restless into rest-full… with eyes wide open.

Just the peace I need… to sleep.

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8 Responses

10.08.12

Gorgeous post! I crave a taste too…more of him, less of me… like John said. His body broken, blood spilled so that he may be more glorified in and through my life. Beautiful words in remembrance of HIM!:))

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10.08.12

Restless into restful. Soaking this up today. Such beautiful thoughts on communion. Blessings!
Christina recently posted..Rejoice AlwaysMy Profile

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10.08.12

Hi Heidi – wow, such a heartfelt post. I felt your need and I felt your peace. I crave that too. Thank you for this
God bless
Tracy
Tracy recently posted..Raging Expectations!My Profile

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10.08.12

So beautiful!
Jenifer recently posted..New Art, A Car Accident & A GiveawayMy Profile

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10.08.12

Love what you wrote Heidi: “Rest-less into rest-full” ~ how I love when the Lord does that!

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10.08.12

“I pinch the bread delicately, but tightly holding on for dear life… to the life He gave up for me.Breathing in. Remembering” These are beautiful words, Heidi. Thanks for linking up today.
Eileen recently posted..Into the Beautiful~ Hippy What?My Profile

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Heidi…preciousness to soak up this evening. Thank you for sharing at WJIM this week. Blessings.

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Heidi, your post is being featured at WJIM this week. I’m glad to feature you.

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