Archive: May, 2012

Castaway BBQ 05.26.12


Serving at BBQ, Reno 05.26.12


Bobbi and Kelli at the Castaway


Cutie Pie Katy, resident of the Castaway


Laura and Melissa at the Castaway BBQ



Battling the Push-Up Bra

If you lean in real close, I’ll tell you something that crinkles my feathers.

I pop open my email today and there it is, Victoria’s Secret: “The push-ups of summer have arrived.” Now, I’m not saying I don’t buy the unmentionables at our girlfriend Victoria’s from time to time, and I’m not saying it isn’t lady-like to browse. What I am saying is that I’m tired of society telling me I need big boobs! Whoever thought it a good idea to misrepresent ourselves by making our chests look double the size, anyway?

Whoever it was, I have some string and a shovel. Anyone want to help?

Suddenly Proverbs 11:3 comes to mind on this topic: “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Upright, crookedness, bras…


I got the pink, shiny gift card recently. My four year old and I took a gander one afternoon amongst the satin and lace. Before I knew it, Miss Thang had an orange panty necklace and a double “d” push-up wonder belt. The color crimson stained my face as the sales associate asked, “Can I ring her up?”

Y’all… really?

The humiliation sunk way down deep to the depths of my mismatched undergarments. But being a determined mama, this would be a teachable moment…even if it did take place on Victoria’s turf.

I love the verse found in 1 Samuel 16:7:

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Seemingly, Victoria and the rest of the world focus on cup size and outward appearance. I’d like to let Victoria in on our secret: God focuses on what people look like on the inside, period. No amount of silky satin thigh highs will ever change that.

The question presents itself.

Are God-fearing women placing more time and effort into being pretty on the outside or the inside? As we get older, we will meet women who spend more time trying to find the perfect outfit, get the perfect tan, find the perfect lip gloss, and have the perfect body. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, we need to make sure it’s in balance.

Since this conversation is just between us, I’ll say one last thing. I think the God of the Universe would much rather see our hearts increase in size rather than our cups.

And they all said, Amen!


Grief Distracts Us From Jesus

Have you ever succumbed to grief?

I definitely have.

When I divorced, I felt as if I’d been officially disqualified from ever being happy. Survival mode became the new norm. After months of brokenness, I began a new journey ~ only I brought grief with me, cisterns of it. I languished there. It led to pain-peddling in my heart and sin. The enemy used my grief like glue; it kept me stuck to a backdrop of pain. Not a fun thing, for sure.

Now looking back, my conclusion is…

Grief distracts us from Jesus.

After the dust settled, I realized grief blinded and distracted me. It caused a dismissal of all things positive. It pressed the pause button on my life’s story for far too long. Most importantly, it prevented me from seeing Jesus… clear and up close.

I’m in good company, though.

The disciples were also distracted by grief. Their grief kept them from praying with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (see Luke 22:39-46). It also played a role in their disbelief when the women ran from an empty tomb proclaiming Jesus was alive (see Mark 16). Grief paralyzed their minds and hardened their hearts to the reality of a resurrected Christ.

Jesus left behind great advice for his disciples and for girls like us.

Instead of passively wallowing in a puddle of pain Jesus instructs us to, “Get up {which is hard when we feel accused and defeated} and pray so that we will not fall into temptation,” (see Luke 22:39-46).

Did you notice that?

Prayer keeps us from temptation. It keeps us from being tempted to sit in suffering; tempted to grieve over things we can’t control; tempted to rely on self.

Years later I realized grief stunted my spiritual growth.

Grief wouldn’t allow me to mature in my faith, instead it suppressed it. Grief labeled Jesus as a mere acquaintance in my life rather than an intimate Savior. Like the disciples, I barely recognized a resurrected Christ in my life.

Sweet sister, I’m sorry if you are walking this path today. But don’t give up. Be intentional about abiding in His presence as often as you can. Decide from this day forward not to allow grief to keep you from Jesus. Instead, allow God’s glory to unleash itself as He reigns over your grief (see Ps. 50:15).

“So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. 23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name,” (John 16:16-33).


This is not the Olympics!


It’s almost here! The 2012 summer Olympics from London.  Our family enjoys gathering around our TV, obsessively engrossed in watching the victories and the near-misses.  Right now, the world’s best athletes are practicing around the clock, perfecting their craft, trying harder each and every day to improve their performance–pressing on hard with the goal of bringing home the gold.

In the Olympics, as in any sport, victory comes from practice, dedication, and from trying harder.

But what about us God-girls?  Where do we claim victory?  When was the last time you confidently thought, “God, I really got this Christianity thing down, don’t I?”

Two weeks ago I was blessed to travel to the Reno mission field with three other God-girls, where we brought groceries and the Gospel to a small motel downtown called the “Castaway Inn” (how appropriately titled, huh?).  We met with each motel tenant and after they chose which groceries would most bless them (TV dinners, mac-n-cheese, and Top Ramen were some of the favorites), we asked to pray for them and we took turns praying.

One of us walked away feeling somewhat defeated by her “prayer performance”, saying, “I didn’t pray very well that time, my first prayer was better”.  It’s as if she were competing in the Prayer Olympics, with the Great Almighty looking down on her with His score card ready, saying, “I give that prayer a 9.5.  But that first one, that needed some work—I give it a 4.8”.  I saw my dear friend becoming her worst critic, and I saw Satan loving it!

We must remember, Satan is the great accuser.  Scripture assures us that accusation doesn’t come from God.

In fact, listen to the good news Jesus offers…

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.  All who come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them (notice we will not give a perfect performance).  I am the door.  If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

My friend’s precious heart and her great desire to bless others and glorify the Lord were weighing her down.

She was trying to try harder.

And what followed was self-condemnation. Can any of you relate to the following self-condemning, performance-based thoughts?

Lord, I really messed up the day.

Lord, I’m not the kind of mother you want me to be.

Lord, I can’t seem to get it right!

Sometimes, in our desire to please God, we can actually turn conviction into self-condemnation.  In our effort to try harder, we end up worried that we will never overcome our sins and find victory in our life.

God has something to say about who He is and what He wants from us, and thank God He’s not expecting a perfect 10!  Renee Swope says in her book A Confident Heart“God’s spirit will convict you, but His heart will never condemn you”.

Jesus tell us,

“Then neither do I condemn you…Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:9-11).

And last, we are to find peace, joy, and God-confidence in the following:

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:17)

So, for all of you who love a good competition, enjoy watching the Olympics this summer.  And remember, our Christian life is not the Olympics and our performance is not being scored.

Can I get an A-men!

Macedonia Moment

Friends and moving simply don’t mix.

The “we might be moving,” phrase chucks itself in the middle of too many conversations lately. However, one statement distinctively stands out, “I hope this is where God really wants us to go.”

I begin thinking…

Sometimes our focus is so concentrated on the destination that we lose sight of the One leading us there.

I muddy the pages of my Bible with my brown pen as I read Acts 16:1-10. “Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. 7 When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. 8 So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. 9 During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.”

Paul’s bags were packed, his journey calculated. But the Spirit of God had different plans. Scripture tells us the Spirit, “…kept him from preaching the word in the province of Asia.” Then, the Spirit prompted Paul to travel to Bithynia and share the Good News there, only to discover “…the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them too.”

Even though Paul packed light, he was no stranger to the frustrations of moving. The Spirit led him one place only to redirect him to another.

Could it be that the destination is deeper than Galatia or Macedonia? Maybe the destination isn’t a place at all.

Maybe the destination is God himself.

God could have used this “pin-ball” effect to shape and mold Paul as he went here and there. Maybe God wanted Paul to trust and enjoy Him in the midst of uncertainty. Perhaps a mixture of “yes’s” and “no’s” stirred up a radical Gospel in Paul’s heart enabling him to bring more glory to God in the process.

As Paul sang his availability to Jesus, God stooped to earth with a vision ~ one announcing Paul’s mission in Macedonia.

Oh how we pray for a Macedonia moment of our own. If only God would come to His girls in a vision and say, “I want you here for this reason,” that would be oh so conducive to our busy schedules.   

Like Paul maybe your daily travels aren’t about where you’re going, but how you’ll get there ~ kicking and screaming? or humbly submitting?

Whether we’re on foot or pulling a U-haul, we must walk in His ways and remain in His Spirit. When we do this, the destination suddenly becomes a “who” instead of a “where.”

The Gospel In A Bathtub

I’m standing in the wings making my bed for the first time today. It’s about 6:00 ish in the p.m. and the girls are in the tub. Wondering if I’m messing up my kids, I pull the cotton snowman sheets over the mattress. Oh yes my sisters, snowmen and flannel in May.

That’s right, y’all!

Through the archway into the bathroom, I hear my daughter’s seven year old self conducting a baptism in the tub. Who is she baptizing you ask? My four year old, of course. Samantha preaches, “Do you believe in the cross? Do you understand the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus?” I hear a faint, “Uuuggghhh, Noohh,” echo into mid-air. Just as I turn the corner where carpet meets the tile, “Splash and swoosh… full on baptism ensues.

I begin to think of the cross; and how it sometimes splashes outside the tub of contemporary Christianity. We as believers must be mastered by one thing; obsessed by one thing; consumed by one thingthe cross of Christ. If our lives aren’t mastered by this one thing, our lives will be wasted.

I want my life to count, don’t you?

The cross is important because it:

Confronts us with the reality of our sin;

Comforts us with the provision of our Savior;

Reminds us our safety is not in this world (Gal 6:12); and

Keeps us from wasting our lives on this world.

Oh how I want to add the words of Paul into my vocabulary, “I am dead to the world and the world is dead to me.” I want my kids to know the road paved with worldly security brings emptiness, while Calvary’s road brings perfect promise.

I may not do this mama thing right, but those splashes in the bathtub tell a different story. One that assures me the foundation we’re building begins and ends with the cross of Christ.

Unlike the snowman flannels, Calvary love that spills over wooden beams onto wretches like us…. never goes out of season.

“As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross,[a] my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died,” (Gal. 6:14, NLT).


Mortified On Mama’s Day…

Can I tell you something just between us?

This Mother’s Day seemed extra special.

In fact, things were going quite well.

I looked out the window to find my man engaged in much needed brow-wiping manual labor. He wrestled man-eating weeds. He planted sprays of floral delight. He even carried a toolbox around fixing stuff. A Home-Depot man so to speak.

The awe of this moment etched a blissful memory across my heart. Suddenly, a not so blissful reality strutted across the lawn. The “big man on campus,” our yellow lab, plopped a few earthly treasures on the newly planted sod. I guess the Spirit just moved, huh? It’s too bad the Spirit couldn’t have led him to the dirt patch, where he’s supposed to go.

Anyway and about that time the phone rang.

I heard the complaints of my very concerned neighbor. Apparently, my southern belles were at her house sharing the biblical terminology for a donkey (a**) with her two and three year olds. Yes ma’am. Not just sharing but helping those sweet thangs pronounce it just right. How thoughtful of them, right?

Ahem and heavy on the sarcasm. So much for trying to keep their fellow toddler from stumbling (see 1 Cor. 8:13).

I think of how the day began. The laminated church photos and hand-made cards that read, “Mama you’re the purple-est.” Then by mid-afternoon, the day suddenly swirled out of control like water in a toilet bowl.

Jeremiah 31:2-3 says,Thus says the LORD: “The people who survived the sword (or the wooden spoon in this case) found grace in the wilderness (in the confines of their bedroom); when Israel sought for rest (when folks calmed down and fessed up), the LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”

After the fog of embarrassment and anger lifted, I began to think of one word: grace. Grace means to get something you don’t deserve. I’m not gonna lie y’all~ they did get the appropriate discipline; however God who disciplines is also abundant in grace.

Maybe mine needed a little grace too.

I felt God nudge me in a one-on-one special kind of way. He said things like, “This is what I do for you; correct you when necessary; scold you when you’re wrong; mold you so you’ll learn; allow the desert so you’ll thirst.


Because I love you~ and that’s what a good and just Heavenly daddy does.

… and that’s what a good and just mama does too.


“She Suffered Well!”

It is a common technique amongst psychologists (I happen to be one) to ask their client to imagine her own funeral and to ask her what she would want her most cherished loved ones to say about her life.  Perhaps somewhat morbid, this exercise often proves to be a very impactful, soul-searching exercise that helps the client clarify her current values system.

In years past, I might have wanted my tombstone to read, “She was perfect!”  or “She had it all!”  Oh how I was missing what God wanted for me to experience through Him.

My husband and I have an understanding that if I should die, I want all of God’s best suffering verses at my funeral.  Bring em’ on!  I want people to say, “She suffered well!”  My purpose for this is not to evoke pity among those who might be attending my funeral service.  No, there is a much greater legacy that I am both trying to live and to leave here on earth.  I want to be like Jesus.

Jesus suffered well.

What does it mean to suffer well?

God promises 2 things for us Christ-followers when it comes to our suffering:

1) Suffering will happen.

2) God can use it!

We all will suffer.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

Suffering can produce radical positive change in our hearts and lives.

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” (Romans 5:3-4)

Are you starting to see why I love these suffering verses so much?

If I suffer well, I will become more like Jesus.  God’s purpose for you and me is to become mature, attaining the full measure of perfection found in Christ (Ephesians 4:13).

And here’s my favorite:

“Blessed is he who endures temptation (insert your own here), for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who Love Him” (James 1:12).

Enduring temptation is difficult!  It causes us to suffer.  But through our suffering we gain godly rewards.

Life is hard.  But as Christians we can rest in God’s promise that our suffering is going to be used in glorious ways.

Carry on ladies, and suffer well!

The Freedom of Discipline

Playing board games with my six and nine year old girls has taught me one thing-rules exist for a reason.  Halfway into our family game night, my daughter realized she was losing and suddenly attempted to switch the rules on the rest of us.  Board game anarchy ensued and we all ended up quitting the game entirely, with all hopes of fun squashed!

The truth is, sometimes we act like little children.  We want what we want when we want it, and we offer up mini tantrums to God, saying, “Well, God, I don’t like all these rules!”

The world might have us believe that true freedom comes when there is an emergency fund in the bank or a big, fat 401K waiting for us in retirement.  Do more, accrue more, and gain more freedom.

But God’s plan for our freedom is that we rely 100% on Him and are obedient to Him so that we can be free. 

  “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.” (Psalm 119:45)

         Dependence on God leads to freedom.

         Surrender leads to victory!

The Freedom-of-Discipline Challenge:

Where can you practice some form of discipline that will lead to the reward of Christ-exalting, God-glorifying, Satan-destroying JOY?

I challenge each of you to choose an area of your life where God is calling you to reign in your self-will in order to experience the freedom of obeying His will.

Ask yourself…

  • Lord, would you have me practice disciplining my tongue, through careful guarding of the words I speak to my children, husband, friends, or coworkers?
  • Lord, would you have me practice disciplining my physical flesh and the cravings for comfort that food provides, by choosing instead to glorify you through the temple which is my body?
  • Lord, would you have me practice disciplining my financial life, by living within my means and following our family budget?
  • Lord, would you have me practice disciplining my prayer life, through daily meditation on your promises and your Word?

Whatever your struggle, God promises 100% success and 0% relapse if you have the kind of self-control that is inspired by God.   God promises freedom from sin and freedom not to sin

The practice of discipline ends in the reward of experiencing joy.

The peace of God follows our choice to OBEY.

The Word of God

 “If the Word of God approves you, you are approved. 

If the Word of God disapproves you, you are disapproved.

Have friends praised you?

They may be your enemies in so doing.

Have other observers abused you?

They may be wrong or right, let the Book decide.

A man of one Book—if that Book is the Bible—is a man, for he is a man of God. Cling to the living Word and let the Gospel of your fathers, let the Gospel of the martyrs, let the Gospel of the Reformers, let the Gospel of the bloodwashed multitude before the Throne of God, the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ—be your Gospel and none but that— and it will save you and make you the means of saving others to the praise of God.”

May 17, 1887 by C.H. Spurgeon

Linking up today with Tracy for Winsome Wednesday and Internet Cafe Devotions for Word Filled Wednesday.